On friendships and keeping secrets
The hardest part about keeping secrets would be having to keep them from the people you tell almost everything to.
I am dying with frustration with this exhausting search for tranquility. My own silence just tortures me.
I want to vent. I need to vent. If only I could speak more freely.
Unfortunately, the circumstances won’t really allow me to spill past the brim, so all my sentiments would have to be suppressed with layers and layers of fabrication.
I could be a little creepy at times, especially when I have so much to say that I couldn’t really say. I always end up being so frantic, moody, and high-strung every time I try to break free. It’s the least I could to restrain myself.
I couldn’t tell you my secret because that would mean revealing theirs too. It’s a terrifying domino effect, and I don’t want them to face any of the consequences my carelessness might bring.
I have to keep my word not only because I promised them, not only because I owe it to myself, but because I want to protect the people I love – from judgment, from unfairness, and for all the wrong that the world might give.
They are my safe haven, and for now, I think coming clean to them would suffice for me.
I hope you understand.
In time, you will, too. 🙂