It has been a while.
Because today is one of those rare ‘I-cannot-explain-this-happy-kind-of-happy’ days. 🙂 Below is a list of the little things that made my day today:
1. Understanding the truth about blogging in our Techcom (Communication Technology) class
I was loathing the very idea of attending that make-up class because (1) I’ve always hated that class and (2) the Balita workshop was simultaneously being held that time. Having lunch with my org mates right before my class made cutting even more tempting, as usual. I wouldn’t have attended it anymore if it weren’t for the midterm exam we are to take next Monday.
It was, however, fascinating to actually understand the truth about blogging. The topic was very timely because I just recently started this blog, and everything in the discussion was pretty much relatable. According to Dr. Soriano, people tend to have two different personas in online and in the offline world: the ‘front stage’ and the ‘back stage.’ The ‘front stage’ is basically how people act when they assume someone else is watching. It’s basically a façade, or as an image we try to portray for a particular type of audience. The ‘back stage,’ on the other hand, is how we behave when we think no one could see us. This is what ‘online disinhibition’ is all about. Because of social context cues are immensely reduced in the online sphere, we tend to expose our vulnerabilities and reveal personal and unexpected sides of ourselves.
I know quite a few people who blog, and some others who keep it all to themselves. I think blogging, or rather, writing is a very healthy way of expressing oneself. I think everyone should write because it’s such a great feeling to be liberated from the words you’ve been keeping in, even just on paper [or in this case, on screen].
2. Hearing about how one of my closest friends has found contentment and tranquility
06 / 20 / 13 was a heavy day for me. I was supposedly posting a blog about it but I didn’t have the time back then because after that heavy moment I had with two of my closest friends, I decided to go out and drink with my high school buddy.
So anyway, that night was the first time I cried right in an instant. And by ‘instant’ I mean without any bottled up emotions triggering the teardrops. The three of us were in the middle of a serious theoretical discussion about love and life in general and then all of a sudden, two of us were crying.
There was just something about his unshakeable confidence on the whole idea of detachment that brought us to tears. I had my mind set on the idea that he was one of the truest, most treasured friends I have ever had, and that he’s one of the few chosen people I would want to carry in my life for as long as I could. I was even more decided on the idea that he was more than willing to keep me in his; that I was one of the friends he would want to go through life’s changes with.
Akala ko hindi lang niya kayang mahalin ‘yung kaibigan ko. Hindi pala talaga siya marunong magmahal.
‘Yung tipong sobrang nakaka-depress na hindi siya naniniwala na may taong hindi siya susukuan. ‘Yung hindi mang-iiwan. Kung kaya lang namin tanggalin ‘yung takot niya eh, gagawin namin. Pero wala namang ibang makagagawa noon kundi ang sarili niya.
Ang nakikita ko lang noon, ‘yung duwag kong kaibigan. ‘Yung taong hindi magawang magpakatao o magmahal ng iba, dahil hindi niya pa tanggap ‘yung sarili niya.
I guess it took him a series of intense self-reflection to accept and actually love himself. I’m so glad you found whatever it is that made you embrace yourself for who you are. I’m so glad you have finally accepted my challenge to be vulnerable, and thus, to be human. I am SO glad that you’ve cemented your faith in yourself, because it is only when you actually know yourself that you could be truly, truly happy. It sounds corny but it’s true.
3. Mini-reunion at the Balita Workshop
Nakakatuwa at nakakapanibagong kami na ni Bianca ang pinakamatatanda sa kasalukuyang mga manunulat ng Balita. Ang sarap ding mag-throwback sa newbie days namin noon habang nagbibigay ng inspirational talk si Tatay JM sa newbies. Oldie na oldie na kami sa lagay na ‘to. HAHAHA.
Photos from Bianca Dabu. Left photo, from left: Carlo (from Buhay at Kultura) and Tatay JM; Right photo, from left: Princess and me
And because we forgot to take a group photo after the workshop, here are some of our photos with the newbies from last Monday’s section meeting:
Photos from Bianca Dabu. Reforeal kids (+ me the extra HAHA) in the front, Dabu kids (the newbies) at the back.
First row, from left: Jeanne, Marien, Hillary, Bianca, Elea, Kim (not in the photo: Kat)
Second row, from left: Meda, Kate, me, Maedelle, Pau, Yeng
4. That loooooooong catch up session with Tatay JM
Photos from Bianca Dabu. From left: Bianca, Tatay JM, me
Ngayon ko lang naintindihan ‘yung kahalagahan ng pagpapamiss. Ang tagal naming hindi nagkausap ni Tatay JM, kaya ang haba at ang saya tuloy ng kwentuhan. Ang dami kong realizations sa gabing ‘to. It’s saddening to realize that we’re always surrounded with immature people who thrive and conform in a flawed culture, but it’s pretty refreshing to know that there are quite a few who could firmly stand for their values even if it means standing alone. Mabuhay ang mga taong may paninindigan!
First time in weeks I have felt THIS alive again. It was definitely refreshing to hear stories from someone who has experienced so much diversity. It was even more refreshing to finally, finally feel happy without any hint of sadness. The painful days have recently been outnumbering the days that weren’t, and I feel like it’s only now that I actually engaged in the conversation. I guess I was always too preoccupied thinking about what happened and what could still happen that I overlooked what was actually happening. I have been lost in my own mind that I missed out on the little things I should be glad about. It’s just really a great feeling to realize that I don’t need anyone else to be happy – that for once, I am capable of being happy on my own.
5. That hilarious happy Friday with the roommate
In celebration of her newly finished paper, Justine, my roommate, surprisingly invited me to go out tonight. She isn’t really the drinker type so I was more than eager to be of company.
We met new some friends, August, Edgar, Cheska, and Shamcey, because we (or, I, rather, because Justine kept on putting me on the spotlight) were practically the target of their dares. August kept on going back and forth our table so the rest of them ended up joining us for a little while.
Unfortunately, the Beach closed earlier than the usual because it was a Friday, so Justine and I had to finish an entire pitcher in about two minutes. Gulping the rest of the drinks hastily wasn’t that much of a good idea, though, because we ended up passing out by a Japanese restaurant called ‘Japok.’ After puking about three times, one of the condominium guards found Justine and decided to wake her up.
The best part? Justine was brought home to our unit in a wheelchair escorted by two security guards. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA seriously, a WHEELCHAIR. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA at least I was able to walk home on my own…with a little messed up sense of direction, of course. My other roommate, Janella, was wise to take a video. We couldn’t stop laughing about it the following day.
So anyway, I’m just really thankful for this day because it has been a while since I have been THIS happy – the genuine kind of ‘happy’ that thrives in oneself; the kind of happy that is independent and liberated; the kind of happy that is solely comes from within. 🙂